Welcome to hate-ure, nature.
WELCOME to Brah vs. Nature! I feel like I should get a few disclaimers out of the way before you take this journey of awesomeness with me. First off, this is not a Man vs. Wild Bear Grylls lovefest. While I DO love Bear Grylls, his mission is to educate the masses with his shining example of greatness. I’m just a guy that’s fed up with nature kickin humanities collective asses. Secondly, if you’re looking for some mature reading, look elsewhere. Third, if you take more than 7% of what I write in this blog seriously (or think that “The Onion” is non-fiction) go away. And finally, if you don’t approve of the use of the word ‘fuck’, fuck off.
I will do my best to update this blog as often as possible, at least twice a week. More or less depending on what nature is doing to piss off the world at the time. Oftentimes I get inspiration from nature fucking my friends over somehow, and that merits vengeance. Things to look forward to in the future: my middle finger strategically aimed at something nature-esque, a lot. Me eating animals in front of animals. Pee. Who knows, it’s gonna be fuckin crazy.
A little about me: I’m just your average brah, pretty apathetic towards nature. “Hey brah, it’s raining pretty bad!”. *shrug* don’t care. “Hey brah, a pack of deer is goring your neighbors!”. Goddamn, don’t go outside then. Snow, hail, blah blah etc, I just don’t care…Until 2011, the year of shit weather. Tsunamis, hurricanes, tornados and everything else that sucks. My crusade started with me pissing in a river to get back at nature for the Missouri tornado victims. Ended with duck bites on my pecker. Long story, maybe I’ll rehash it at some point.
Anyways, my boss is probably pretty irritated that I’ve been stealing his internet to start my hateful blog. I don’t care, but I also don’t want him password protecting his internet connection or something equally as shitty, so I’m going to get for now. Be on the lookout for my next entry, possibly some sweet pictures, and lots and lots of delicious hate.